Bella And The Cullen's Secret
by hedgiemom
Summary: This takes place in New Moon on the day of Bella's birthday. When Bella gets a papercut from the gift she got from the Cullens, how will she react? And how come Jasper hasn't lunged for her? Rated T for language. One shot. Don't own Twilight.


**Hey guys! Wasssupppp? This is my new fanfic [well, it's a one shot] and I didn't plan on writing it until my AMAZING friend, Jordy [sorry Jordy, but I can't remember your username right now!] Forced to me to put one up! My friend, Chrissy recently sent me the Narwhal's song, so I was like, "Hmm.. Something random.." And came up with this! Sorry if you hate it, but I love it, cause it's about Narwhals! [And, it's pretty random.] So, I hope you enjoy!**

"Guys… you know how I am about gifts!" Bella said, moving her arms around to emphasize the huge stack of gifts neatly arranged on the coffee table. "I know you'll love them," Alice said, showing her glistening teeth. "I just know it!"

"Fine," Bella murmured. "Which one's first?"

"This one!" Alice said smiling even more than before while handing her a present rapped in paper.

"Aww crap, I cut my finger!" Bella screamed, blood dripping down her finger.

Suddenly, Bella stopped screaming and stared very weirdly at Jasper.

"What?" Jasper said, having no clue to why Bella was looking at him in that way.

"You-you.." Bella stuttered, too horrified to finish her sentence.

"I wha- ohhh." Jasper suddenly understood why she was mortified, leaving the rest of the Cullens confused.

"Yeah, HOW COME YOUR EYES AREN'T SUDDENLY BLACK AND DON'T LOOK LUSTFUL FOR MY BLOOD? WHY HAVEN'T YOU LUNGED FOR ME, KNOCKING ME INTO THE WALL BEHIND ME?!" Bella screamed.

"Erm.. well.." Jasper didn't say anything else, and ran out of the room, everyone else following him but Edward.

"Edward, WHY?!"

"Well.. Bella.. " said Edward. "I don't know how to put this.."  
"What is it, my love?" Bella said.

"We-" Bella cut him off.

"OMG, I know what it is! You're gay, aren't you?" Bella said somehow calmly, looking like she was on the verge of tears.

Edward just stared at her, abruptly still and silent.

"I knew it! Bella screeched. "You are gay! But that doesn't explain why Jasper didn't..—

Edward's sudden laughter caused her to stop rambling on.

"I- * laugh* am not * laugh* gay!" Edward said in between his uncontrollable laughter.

"You idiot!" Bella said. "You had me scared for a moment there!"

"But then why was Jasper…"  
"So calm when you cut your finger?"

"Yeah."

"Well.." Edward began, "It's because we aren't actually vampires."

"What?" Bella shrieked. "You mean you've been lying to me this whole time?!"

"I had to for a reason!" Edward shouted back. "It's even more secretive than vampires, which is why I had to lie to you!"

"What in the hell could be more secretive than being a vampire?" Bella said, suddenly thoughtful looking.

"My whole family being freaking narwhals is what's more secretive than being a vampire!" Edward said, his eyes suddenly getting wider as he realized what he had just said.

Edward got a different reaction from Bella than he thought he would get.

"Oh my fucking god!" Bella screamed, suddenly looking very excited. "You're a freaking narwhal?"

Edward nodded, confused because he thought she would have screamed and called him an ugly underwater beast.

"This is great!" Bella said, "Because.. I have a secret too."

"What is it?" Edward said.

"I'm an underwater unicorn!"

"You're a WHAT?!"

"An underwater unicorn!"

Suddenly, Edward fainted, leaving Bella confused.

Edward's head hitting the floor must have been loud, because all of a sudden, the whole Cullen family was in the room, looking at Edward confused.

"What happened?" Esme said.

"I told Edward that I'm an underwater unicorn!"

"_YOU ARE!?" _All of them said at the same time.

"Yes!"

The Cullens splashed cold water on Edward's face to wake him up while Bella ran to their kitchen.

"Bella, dear," Esme said. "What are you doing?"  
"I'm getting me some Mountain Dew!" Bella yelled back from the kitchen.

"Oh no.." Alice and Rosalie said.

"What?" was everyone else's response.

"When she drinks Mountain Dew," Alice explained, "She tends to get a bit.. hyper."

"A little?" Rosalie said. "I'd say a-"

"NARWHALS NARWHALS SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN! CAUSING A COMMOTION! CAUSE THEY ARE SO AWESOME!"

"What in the hell is that, Bella?!" Edward said while covering his ears.

"Why, Eddipoo, it's me singing the Narwhal song! Haven't you've heard it before?"  
"No," Edward said, "And I don't plan on it."

So, Bella continued to sing the Narwhal's song, getting more into it when it came to a point where it talked about Narwhals, while the Cullens stared at her in disbelief in awe.

"Well," Jasper said, "She took it better than I thought she would."

**I'd like some feedback! Was it really that bad? I don't care what you have to say, Just push the button below and write what you think! Or not.. :D**

**-Dray**


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